I have never fully understood the concept of trade-off until now. When I first encountered this term in high school, I was like, “Meh, it’s just another fancy word for ‘choosing’.” But now, god, now, that term is the most appropriate word to describe my situation. I’ve been weighing my options all week. I’ve been asking my mom, my peers, and even my dog about it although I’m definitely sure that the final decision will still come from me.
Responsibility has become a fearful word for me ever since that failed project in high school. And the options I’m currently weighing all hold some degree of responsibility with it. All those options are tempting and I can only choose one because that is the responsible choice. I don’t know if I want to torture myself with work or if I want to die young from lack of sleep but the opportunities have been loudly whispering in my ear all week! Even if I remove peer pressure from the picture, it still seems tempting.
What is it with me and my urge to always add responsibility to my plate? Ego boost perhaps or a means to put an end to boredom? Yes, I like to keep ego up there in the skies as well as myself busy and this opportunity offers an intense kind of busy. It’s the type that can lead you astray if you can’t manage your time properly. This opportunity can make or break my relationship with my peers and my grades! I feel so conflicted even my writing seems to blow this situation out of proportion. 😦
In a few days, I will be forced to choose an opportunity or to lose taking any of it at all.
…or I can always make an opportunity for myself.