Facing the Fact: I’m no Frosh anymore

I think I’ve been living in a delusion that I’ll forever be a Frosh (a.k.a. Freshmen). First day of school kinda slapped me back to reality, though. The engineering building were swarmed with new faces – sophomores, I presume. It was funny, really. Me and two friends of mine were sitting in the middle of it all, waiting for our next class and then I see all these people – fresh faces wearing probably the latest and best outfits they own. At first, I felt like a frosh again, with all these new people surrounding me. I felt small. (Because I really am. Just a little over five feet) But then, it hit me. I’m no Frosh anymore. For two years already. And at that instant, I kinda felt old and still small.

Well, during lunch I asked my friend why it seemed like I still felt like a Frosh. She casually answered me with, “Well, they look way older than we do – for sophomores.” That got a laugh out of me. I responded with a “Yeah, well, we’re the baby-faced generation.” Thinking about it now, we actually sounded like we were in denial.

Though, I believe I’m not. A professor in one of my subjects a while ago said something that made me understand (sort of) why I’ve always felt like a frosh. He was giving us an orientation about what to expect in class, house rules and all those other stuff that professors say at the first day of school. We were at the point where he was saying that he was giving plus points in quizzes to those who recited in class – no matter if the answer is right or wrong. Adding, “You’re still students, you don’t know everything yet. That’s why you’re here to learn.”

That lack of knowing. That I think is what makes me feel like a Frosh everyday for the past two years since I’ve stepped into college. It’s the fact that I’m still more than a mountain away from learning all the things I need to learn to finally be called an Electronics Engineer. I felt that this morning while receiving my first syllabus for the term. I scanned it and the only thing that registered through me was, “I have utterly no idea what the hell these topics are and what they’re for.”

Despite all the self-confidence I had (which is alot since it has to nurture my rather larger ego), I felt like an idiot at that moment. There was this half-second of panic with the undying question in my head, “How am I going to pass this subject?” The other half-second was devoted to calming myself down and trying to create a plan for the next few days. It went along the lines of

  1. Find an e-book of the reference books listed on the syllabus
  2. Pack snacks next week because this new schedule will kill me if I don’t have a quick snack.
  3. Think of where I’m eating lunch after this

I know numbers 2 and 3 sound completely irrelevant to my dilemma of passing the course but if there is one important survival skill I learned in college – especially if you’re studying engineering- it’s that you have to always have a happy tummy. Trust me, Laplace transforms, network analysis and all those technical concepts won’t go through your head if you’re hungry.
I did manage to accomplish number three today and then regretting all that carbs I consumed. But then, having a full tummy made me realize that there’s nothing wrong living the delusion that I’m a frosh. It’s true that I’m no Frosh, age-wise. But I’m still a Frosh when it comes to the academics, to knowledge. Everyday for the rest of my life. Because cliche as it sounds, I’ll be learning new things everyday, like it or not. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with thinking I’m not getting any older – in fact I’ve gotten a couple of you’re blooming compliments. Total ego boost (Boo-yah)! And for all I know, I might be adding more years to my life thinking that I’ll always be a Frosh.😉
XO

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