I have never felt this bad about being imperfect before. Well, not the physical kind of imperfect. I embrace the imperfections of my anatomy but this other thing, I can’t really fathom.
It’s a silly story actually. I took the last of the five quizzes in Calculus today and I wasn’t able to answer one of the problems in Calculus. When I told my professor about it, she gave me that, ‘but-its-the-easiest-one-in-the-test’ comment.
Well, me, my oversensitivity, and perfectionist complex got the best of me so I was basically sulking the whole trip home because of that. I told mom what happened and as usual, she gave me her famous line, ‘you can’t expect to be always perfect.’ And today, there was an added, ‘strive for excellence, instead.’ Me, being clouded with regret for not figuring out that it was just ‘an easy substitution,’ didn’t get the difference between the two that I had to ask, ‘What’s the difference? They sound the same.’
Then, she gave me that ‘Well, excellence is being good at alot of things not just one.’ Nothing more. I sighed, resigned with that thought and the thought that I could never travel back in time and answer that one integral. I might as well be finally active in some organization in school so I can have an outlet whenever I suck at the academics. To lessen any more sulking. Yeah, nothing happens when you sulk, just gives you the urge to do bad stuff.
On the way home, the trip was kinda loud. I was singing, once again, to Taylor Swift songs and my mom randomly stated to my brother, ‘look at your sister, she’s having mood swings. A while ago she was sulking, now she’s singing like crazy.’
So it ended kinda well with that silly affair. I got the bad vibes out of my system after having a good nap and it’s totally gone now that I’ve written about it. I’ll pray that noone bring the subject up until I see the quiz score.
Still aimin’ for that 3.o.