Why does November have to always make me itch?

No, get your mind off the gutter. I will tell you what this is about in a bit.

I was reviewing the last few posts I made here, including the private ones I am not yet ready to share to the world, and I realized my posts are roughly three to four months apart – like some quarterly report. The corporate system has gotten to me.

I have decided to write a bit urgently today as my head has been swimming in so much thoughts and grogginess probably brought about by seasonal allergies, antihistamine and having to be polite and getting the blame instead. I need an outlet – and telling any friend is not helping – I don’t like passing on negativity to another so I am putting it out here.

Been mildly suffering seasonal allergies again these year. And I say milder because roughly the same time last year, I was rushed to the ER for a shot of Diphenhydramine as I already looked like a blow fish and was covered in rash. This year, I already had episodes of rhinitis (and a lot of sneezing), itchy throat and rash breakouts which thankfully, oral antihistamines are still able to calm down. Been very very cautious and groggy since then.

Got a bit annoyed with a friend’s lack of decisiveness yesterday to a point I stopped replying as my way of saying no so all the ‘plans’ got flushed down and I got blamed. They kind of saw through my petty excuse of falling asleep through it all, lol. But I was in no mood to fight nor explain so I will suck it up – and decidedly write here🙂.

That is about it for now. Will be baking carrot muffins in a while so YAY😀




Bucketlist like Timecapsules

I decided it was about time I visited my blog roughly a month before my birthday and start getting myself together. I will be celebrating my first year in the workforce next week and I will be off this weekend and the most part next week for my cousin’s wedding in Siquijor. When I come back, I am sure to be swamped again with work considering there will be exciting changes about to happen in the office.

So I stumbled upon one of the pages I made in this blog roughly three years ago — my bucketlist and decided to go through it and see if I could cross any of it out. Out of the 20, I managed to cross out 4! Not bad considering when I reviewed the list, a lot of the things I put there were things I saw other people do and couldn’t exactly imagine myself doing. A big part of me was screaming, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! while reviewing it. Apparently, a lot of the things I listed have something to do with travelling, eating something exotic, or doing something risky.

It made me think why the hell I thought of listing those things in the first place. Now though, it seems to me that when I turned 20 I wanted to live a little recklessly. And I think I am still struggling with the thought that I am at that point in my life where I should be a bit reckless and make mistakes. Even my cousin told me that. I think I’ve been way too comfortable in my shell – which I still am. I’m trying! I’ll get there. We’ll get there. I have to convince myself that.


Good Friday musings

I finally downloaded the WordPress app on my phone again and told myself I have to post today. Checked my drafts and I have 2 in queue that are outdated and I think I’m never going to post it at all.

Anyway, ALOT of things have happened in the last 6 or so months that I haven’t written here. Like, I got a job last July (yay!) and I am currently enjoying it. I got hospitalized last September for losing to much blood during my period (boo!). And, I went to Bangkok just a few weeks ago and I am going to post something about it.

Now, though, since it is Good Friday and I haven’t been the best Catholic since the start of Lent, I wanted to do a little thought and spiritual exercise.

I will admit that I haven’t been praying as much these days. Not as strong as I did when I was studying and looking for a job. Of course, I prayed for the usual things to thank for and the basic – safety, good health, prayer for the souls in purgatory. However, not much on the special intention like to pass this course and that or get called for the job.

Sometimes it makes me feel that I don’t have something to focus on now that I don’t pray for something specific. And it makes me feel like I’ve no direction…

Maybe I should start praying for that. Guidance to know what I should prioritize in life. Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll do that.

What else have I not been good about? Oh yes, adhering to the usual Lenten traditions. I’ve broken the abstinence of meat on Fridays rule for the most part, I haven’t attended Ash Wednesday mass, not done the stations of the cross, did not do the Visita Iglesia – it almost sounds like I didn’t do anything the entire lent. I did go to mass yesterday for the Last Supper. And I haven’t touched meat since Wednesday. I’m trying to catch up, lol.

I don’t know – now that I’m growing to see the world in a bigger picture it doesn’t feel right doing those traditions once a year and not practicing what it really entails the rest of the year. Having to remember the Passion that Christ went through every lent is cool but sometimes it seems to be getting a bit commercial. Maybe it’s just me.

I’d rather be breaking abstinence as long as I don’t turn out a glutton. I’d rather try and be a kind person to everybody than attend every activity and still be rotten after Easter. By the way I am explaining my thoughts, the more inclined I am to believe that I want what Lent means, to be a longterm kind of transformation. Yeah… Makes sense.
Yeah, that’s about it. Will be back in my next post!


The Art of Downplay

So I learned an amount of things today, including what it actually feels like to downplay yourself in a competition that is all about projection and putting your most persuasive face forward. I joined the Maybank Go Ahead Challenge after receiving an invitation from them a couple of months ago through email. At the time, I was still looking for work so I was open to the idea. I took their online assessment just for kicks not expecting that I’d move on to the next round.

Fast forward to yesterday, I got in to the Campus Levels which was practically where the real challenge began.  All the activities yesterday revolved around a case study touching on economics and finance. I am an Engineering graduate so I am no expert on the nitty-gritty of finance and economics. The only sources of knowledge that I could pull was from the stuff I learned when I started investing in the stock market and the flyers I’ve read whenever I visited the bank to do some transactions. Oh yes, there was Engineering Economics, but we never discussed how exchange policies were established. So I basically felt out-of-place and mainly lost save from the fact that I met new friends along the way.

Around midday, I decided this wasn’t for me and the fact that I was not impressed with the time management practiced, it only added to my desire to just go home. Although, knowing myself, I was always curious to know what was next so I saw it through the end of the event. So I did what I thought would be the most graceful thing to do in the situation, downplay myself in the actual assessment. During every activity, there were assessors who roamed around and basically eavesdropped on the brainstorming and conversation going on, and they weren’t exactly the discreet kind – I could feel them behind my back. The actual and final assessment that day was a solo presentation of a plan of establishing a bank and a new currency that will be used instead of the existing barter system.

While everybody was enthusiastic, presenting their proposals even while hungry and with bloodshot eyes, I presented mine in the plainest and most direct way possible. Everybody was eager to expound and expound to convince the assessor to accept their proposal, I didn’t. Despite being the eager one to pitch in with insight during the group brainstorming for this last activity, I was the least enthusiastic in the actual individual presentation. Talk about really selling myself and that proposal short.

My plan worked and I got myself out. On my way home, I realized I’m not exactly for the world of banking. Or at least not yet. I’m not yet closing my door to the industry but I am sure now is not the time for it. Yesterday, I saw the potential and probable existing culture of their organization and I can say I’m not a fitting candidate. IT financial services, though is another story – that still has technology and engineering in it and I can handle that.

Yesterday taught me a lot about myself and I’m glad I took the opportunity even for a day. It made me appreciate Dad pushing me to take Engineering. I am still curious about the world of finance and economics. Most of all, I learned that the power to achieve my goals  is always in my hands.


Patience, Duolingo and other things

You know that feeling of wanting something so bad, it’s within arms reach but then there’s this barrier that just stops you…uncertainty. Then, you realize that you want it even more however bad the uncertainty is eating you up and the only thing you can do is wait patiently.

You can ask but asking too much comes across as desperate. Nobody wants desperate. So you wait and wait and try to do something productive while waiting. Read books, learn a new language, trade stocks, plant edible herbs. Whatever.

Then comes another, not as appealing however with potential. Now, you’re caught between the two. You start considering the new one and see it for what it has to offer. You look back and see the first one still there pulling you back showcasing all it has to offer. However, you are still unsure if it wants you the way you want them. So you linger and give it time.

You try to pull back into your routine to keep you distracted, to keep you from doing something stupid because it isn’t the time to make a decision yet.

And this is why I need to be more patient with my life. And I missed blogging. Seemed like the right time to get back to writing to get the edge off. While I have been busy looking for a job, I’ve also gone into doing the things that I so wanted to do but couldn’t since there was college, review and then board exams.

I’ve been learning French with Duolingo, this incredibly cool language learning app that gives bite-size lessons, has interesting sentences to practice on (my favorite so far: Les hommes sont les enfants), and has incentives to keep you going. I’ll continue German once I’m done with French. Right now, the only German sentence I remember is Ich bin gut (I am good), which, to me, sounds really German. However, after googling a bit, I found out this sentence has more sexual bearing in the culture HAHAHA thank you Urban Dictionary for that. Now I am never forgetting that sentence.

I’ve caught on with Game of Thrones, Arrow and some random teen movies I have never even heard of before.

I’ve upped my cooking game learning how to cook quarter-inch steaks in a cast-iron plate. It tastes so good if you do it right. I’ve finally planted basil and thyme seeds after failing to bring home fully grown ones from my trip to Baguio last month. The basil is growing really fast. The thyme is taking a bit slower but I still have hopes with this. Patience.

I’ve gone around again with family, vacationing on the weekends and I better pick it up again and post it here. I have to get this blog going again. I was thinking of making a series on my childhood and I want to name it the ‘Stupid Kid Diary.’ More details on that soon.

After the boards…

I believe it’s about time I went back to blogging now that board exams are finally over and the results are out. Guess what? I passed! Hooray! Neglecting to exercise and not giving two ***** on what I eat paid off. I do hope you caught my sarcasm on that, I really do.  But that was two weeks ago. So what have I been doing for the couple weeks after? I’ve been looking for a job. And now, I’ve just been offered one, two days ago. Although, this was not one of those jobs that I went around asking for.

I don’t know what I was thinking because when I received the invite for a technical exam, it was for a day after the board exams. I figured, yeah why not take a technical exam the day after boards to take my mind off of the board exams. So I took it. A little while after I took the company’s technical exam, I was sent home because I did not ‘meet’ the expected grade. So I did. I was like, ok whatever, at least I tried and it did get my mind off the fact that in 3 days, board exams results would be out. Board exam results came out that Friday and everybody was happy. I started applying for a job. It was a week after I was sent home from the technical exam that they gave me a call. I was quite surprised after I was told that I failed and all that.

I quite had the nerve to ask the one calling why they were when they then told me before that I already failed their technical exam.   They just said that they were reconsidering all the applicants and I was one of them and now they were inviting me for an interview the next day. I didn’t exactly have plans and I wasn’t hearing from any of the companies that I actually was applying to since, well, I had just sent them out. So I agreed, you know, just to practice myself on interviews and such.  I had two interviews that day and when I went home, I was hoping they wouldn’t call. Really really hoping they wouldn’t.

They did. Monday, late in the afternoon, they called me for a job offer and I was to come to them the next day 9 o’clock. That’s barely a day’s notice! And I already had plans that day so I told them that I couldn’t make it and to give me until today to think about the offer. I’m still thinking about the offer.


First Quarter Hiatus

This is the first time that I had nothing to say this New Years. I’ve been… preoccupied – around the house and I’m currently reviewing for the ECE licenaure examinations. It’s this April. Please pray that I pass the exams. I’m practically putting all other aspects of my life on hold for this. (i.e. this blog, my social life, my friends and I’s start-up, and of course job hunting)

May the odds be in my favor. :((


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