That's just the way I roll

I regret talking in front of the cast yesterday. I regret getting pulled down by the expressions on their faces. I wanted it to continue but I was having doubts because the mass reaction I was receiving was disheartening. That probably was the biggest mistake I’ve ever done. Why? Because my role was to motivate. My initial plan was to motivate. But it all turned around once I started opening my mouth. It was as if all the wrong words were said.

And it was unfair. ‘Coz I did it when we weren’t even complete. And I partially made it an excuse to make me feel like there’s no hope. I feel shitty right now. I should have been a little more positive.

I was tossing and turning last night. And I kept thinking of the what ifs. And what’s worse was that I realized those what ifs were still possible to reach. And it were only possible to reach if only everybody were willing to continue it again and forget what happened last friday.

It’s gonna take a really big push to boost it up. But if it means having to beat the regret out and the what ifs floating in my head. Then I should be willing to take the risk of standing once again in front of everybody. AS IN COMPLETE NA DAPAT ANG STAFF KO, ANG CAST. At hindi na dapat ako magpadala sa doubt. Leche. Magmotivate. To Motivate. I should motivate. I shouldn’t be the one motivated to stop.

Bahala na kung sabihin nila na papalit palit ang isip ko. Hindi naman talaga pumalit isip ko e. Gusto ko talaga ituloy tong batch prod. Tinanong ko lang naman sila, kayo. Marami ang naghindi. 2 beses pa. Nabigla na naman ako, nagpadala. Gaga.

Itatama ko to kasi it all feels wrong na hindi to itutuloy.

…To be continued.

Best and most memorable Intramurals. It was fun. Futsal girls proved what we were really made of. Babaylans made it as over-all champs. Although we didn’t bag the cheering competition, I think that we’ve already done enough of proving what we’re capable of in this High School Life of ours. I’m just happy that it ended well.

When I mean it ended well, I didn’t see anyone going all sour and bitter, doing petty attempts of bashing and badmouthing the winners. Well, yeah, there was this thing with an unknown the night before and some just retaliated. Everybody seems kinda chill right now, based on what I’m seeing in Facebook.

This Intramurals was one hell of a challenge for us. But we made it through. And we finished it with grace and decency. That’s what counts.

Sa wakas, nasubmit ko na ang essay entry ko for Bertigo. At least, nabawasan na ang trabaho ko. Grabe, kung anu-ano na ang pinasukan kong trabaho this week. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko na nag-volunteer ako mag-actions committee sa cheering at dahil DOTA member rin ako, nakisali naman ako sa PEP Squad. Bale, ito ang intrams na extra-extra ang challenge para sakin. Ito na rin siguro ang parusa dahil nag-absent ako sa mismong cheering competition last year. Stupid Fever.

Anyway, ayun, malayu-layo na ang nirating ko sa pagsasayaw. Facial expression na lang. Hindi ko pa mahanap ang taray face ko. So, practice practice nalang dun.

Tapos hindi ko rin alam kung magpapakamatay na ba ako sa tubig o hindi dahil magi-IM ako at mag bubutterfly. Kaya ngayon, naghahanap na ako ng swimming pool na malaki-laki at pede paglanguyan magdamag.

At may SN pa pala. Super sabaw na. *sigh*

BTW, I passed all the entrance tests from the three schools that I applied. UP, DLSU, Mapua. Yahoo! Hahaha! Hello, ECE. Animo La Salle!

Eto na naman ako e. Mapractice nga muli ang Filipino Writing Skills ko kasi may deadline ako bukas kay GMart at hindi pa ko tinatamaan ni Ginoong Inspirasyon.

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I’ve done nothing but to try to complete my to do lost for the weekend. So far, I’ve finished 2 and a half out of 7. That’s not even half of it and I feel like I’m melting in my seat. Work is raining on me. Ugh. Hahahha!

Man, I’m tired. Exhausted. Bushed. Jaded per se. I feel so down right now that it took me a Musketeers bar and almost half of Hershey’s Symphony Chocolate bar to have me last this long. The stress is literally killing me and I don’t know how I’m going to last up until graduation. I still have my hopes and dreams, you know. And, I’m not the type that’s gonna let it just crash and burn.

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Oh My Golly! This is by far, the best Chocolate I’ve ever tasted. Beats Hershey’s and Toblerone. Lindt Mousse au Chocolat. Heaven! I couldn’t resist so I had to blog this one. It’s not too sweet, just right to the point you’d crave for more. Deadly. Yummy! *Sigh*

I had to go back to Seton in the morning to watch the Grade School’s Broadway Presentation. I loved the First Grade’s interpretation of the Little Mermaid. Loved Ursula! Rocked the whole house with her acting skills. Man, she made me love kids even more. I couldn’t resist her cuteness that we even asked her to have a picture with us. She was hesitant at fist, claimed she was tired but it was great that her mom convinced her to join us in the photo.

Ursula and Fans

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